How to Support a Survivor

Healing from past sexual trauma, no matter the circumstance, is very complex. It requires a great deal of time and intentional care. But with your love, support, and understanding, a survivor can find hope and healing.

Listen. Believe. Affirm. Encourage.

LISTEN: If a survivor tells you they were sexually abused, give them your undivided attention. Many survivors conceal their stories for years, for fear of rejection, judgement, or blame. To heal they need to be able to talk about it with someone safe that they can trust.

BELIEVE: While a survivor may not be able to fully or clearly articulate their story, you can count on the fact they are telling you the truth as they know it. Believe them. It is one of the best things you can do to help them begin to heal.

AFFIRM: Many survivors blame themselves in some way for their abuse, resulting in deep feelings of shame. Shame can wreak havoc in a survivor's life. Survivors need know that the abuse they suffered was in no way their fault and that they have done well to share their story with you.

ENCOURAGE: A survivor needs to know there is hope for healing and that healing is a journey, not an event. They aren’t going to "get over" it in a matter of days, weeks, or months. The reality is, they will have to work through it, and it may take a life-time to heal. Encourage them to take the next practical step by connecting them with a counselor or mentor who is trauma-informed. Provide them with helpful resources to guide them in healing.